Its that time of the year again!!!

Things have been better since my last post. A couple of assignments successfully completed even though this assignment thing in my department is taking the majority of my time. And cost me the opportunity of doing the open-IIT drams.

Nonetheless, the last few days have been pleasant as you might expect with the exams just over, one of my stronger open-IITs held and no disappointments. And with the assignments submitted, I guess the deadline for the next will be after DP, and hence we will cross that bridge when we come to it.

This career guidance thingie kicked off today, and Sandipan Deb, I must say, was an amazing speaker. Definitely connected to him straight away. Will interview him tomorrow for Alankar. Hope it goes the way I foresee it. Unfortunately it means that I will have to wake up early morning tomorrow. That keeps getting tougher, with every saturday spent in Kgp.

Inter-hall preparations need to start. Cannot see one reason in the whole wide world why they have turned the Lit and Drams calendars upside down with DumbC the first onstage inter-halls, followed by WTGW. Pujo will eat into the time big-time!!!

And that brings me to the topic of Pujo. Its the source of my biggest frustration at the moment, and yet, the thing that I am anticipating most. Can't imagine that I was within 116 KM of home and yet havent managed to pop down once in the last two months. Which has meant no Pujo shopping yet. Missed my mom's birthday(I mean wished her, of course, but darn, who will do justice to that cake???).

Coming back to Pujo-the four days. Feels different this year. Somehow. Not sure exactly how or why. Classes 10-12 -I would divide my time between the para pujo (quite a good one), and Durga bari. Its strange how priorities change over time. Had para friends then, all of whom finished school one year early, and disappeared to various parts of the country. Almost like a "those were the best days" kind of thing. A couple of days with them, another couple with school friends, dropping by at Maddox, occasionally. All the crazy plans that we knew would never materialize to impress the senoritas. Laughing over them. Hatching more plans over bhel puri. Discarding them after someone would get cold feet halfway into them. And then hatching a few more over dinner at Zeeshan or over ice-creams at Sheriff. Simple, uncomplicated fun. Till date, I get reminders from some of them over my miserable state of existence over my inability to shake off the cold feet in my interactions with the one woman I worshipped then.

My first year. This was arguably the best pujo of my life. My parents had planned for a vacation. But we hadnt banked on my cracking the JEE, and then finding out that pujo holidays were just for the one week of pujos. So, my trip to Chandigarh, Shimla, Kulu, Manali had to be cut off at Kulu, and I took the flight back from Chandigarh(via Delhi-Destiny sometimes gives you that big broad wink in the face, doesnt it??) to Kolkata. Reached Nabami night(a Saturday). Home, after the taxi had battled through the rush, at 10.30pm. And left immediately to meet up with friends. And then had the best Dashami of my life, for it was the first time that I had the feeling that God was in his heaven and all was right with the world. I was literally singing on my way back to Kharagpur the next morning by the 6.00a.m. Dhauli.

My second year was "quite alright." Lacked that which made the previous one so special. But, it was in one of those phases when I had the "God is in his...." feeling. Because everything was as close to perfect as they could have been. met up with old pals from school. It was nice exchanging experiences, and recollecting the days in school, even though I got the feeling that we had grown apart in more ways than one. Even then, an overall pleasant time.

Somehow, feel different now. Just can't see myself jostling through the Maddox crowds anymore. Somehow, things have changed. In me. Around me. Actually wondered if I have aged faster!!! Took the blog things test on What age do you act?? It said I was 17!!!! God Bless them!!!!!!!!

Note to DD, who in his comment on my last post guessed that, if I did get the time-machine, I would go ahead in time. Wrong. I would go back a couple of years. Even though ahead would be more logical. It's a thought that has bothered me for some time now.

A desperate search for peace

Its been a month, in fact a good couple of weeks more than that, since I last posted. And the period between has been tiring. Just generally. One of those elongated stretches when you get the feeling that the rub of the green has gone against you so consistently that even the law of averages should be ashamed of itself.

It did not, of course, help that the mid-semester examinations just underlined the fact. They started off pretty decently, and then things started to go haywire in my signature style. Unforced error after unforced error, a new ill that has crept into my system since the end of my first year. A lot of things coincided with the end of the first year---in fact, to be precise, I would put the end of my golden period(ok, thats a bit of an overstatement) at around November, 2004. Keep wondering since then if its just accident. Have almost come to the conclusion that it is not. Its just destiny, and I feel anybody's destiny is woven intricately around the lives of his/her associates. And as people around you change, so does your destiny.

Desperately seeking some serendipity.

My frust life:

Exams-one topic that does not need elaborating.

Exams got over on Wednesday. Everybody has gone home for a couple of days at least, everybody who lives in Cal, that is. I have not coz my lovely dep chose to put in a couple of lab assignments to keep us busy while the mid sems were on, and those have to go by Sunday and Monday respectively.

Ants infest my room. I do my best to keep it free of food and all and still they find god-knows-what to be attracted to. They were grazing my monitor today morning. And to add insult to injury, went to the WTGW captain's room yesterday night for a short practice. The guy has chocolate wrappers, biscuit packets, Real juice tetrapacks strewn across the room. No sign of ants.

The draw in the tournament has gone against me. And it could have been set right but the key people have chosen to go partying out-of-station.

Sources of comfort a little in short supply, and the past keeps coming back to haunt my present.

Saw one of those blogthing links on herenow's blog, which said I am 70% boyish and 30% girlish. Worried.

Spent over 600 bucks on chocolates in the last 6 weeks.

Just realized things which should bother me don't and those which shouldn't do.

Does my life get better by the day or what??

As an alternative to my desperate search for serendipity, I have decided that anyone who can get me a time machine will be amply rewarded.