Enter the minstral

.
I think somewhere deep down we all have our little fairytale worlds, where we nourish our dreams of a tomorrow, a magical, beautiful tomorrow; with hope, excitement and wide-eyed expectations. But, more often than not, the common characteristic running through them is that it is also an impossible tomorrow.

Almost of the kind that the movie "Serendipity" depicts. Perhaps many hearts have yearned for that kind of a fairytale romance, as mine did. Regardless, however, it is the kind of story best summed up by MsPunch on IMDB: "A little bit of perfect escapism."

I have never wondered how long we bother to feed these fairytales, how long it is before we give in to the harsher truths of reality and accept that not all of us will get to live in houses of chocolate.

Soft-spoken and obsessive, Trager never looked the part a hopeless romantic.
But in the final days of his life, he revealed an unknown side of his psyche. This hidden quasi-jungian persona serves during the Agatha Christie-like pursuit for his long-reputed soul mate: A woman whom he only spent a few precious hours with.
Sadly, the protracted search ended late Saturday night in complete and utter failure.

----------Serendipity

Sort of like this??
Or is it just a natural death as time goes by and the senses too dulled.
For when you have felt every emotion, there are none left to feel.
For when you have dreamt every dream, there are none left to dream.

Or sometimes they just refuse, to die.
Perhaps because of a typical taurean obstinacy, a refusal to yield.
Perhaps because of chance and circumstance that give the whiff of hope that drags the dream onto the life support keeping it alive for a little longer, hoping against hope.
Perhaps because the wrong tunes play at the wrong time.

Aankhein khuli ho ya ho bandh,
Deedar unka hota hai...

Or perhaps simply because wandering minstrals pop up to set alight the flames of a subsiding passion.
"Pipe to the spirit, ditties of no tone."

Perhaps there is something to be said in favour of the afternoon sob operas on TV. They start off like a house on fire, gripping, taut, and then fall away, lose a good part of the viewership, some sudden inspiration in the script writing produces a spark, a momentary interest, and then more flagging... Life, often, is like that. Or at least, the best fairytales are. But, mine has already been too long, winding aimlessly through the tides of time, the sparks too few and far between.

And just as you are about to sit back, and consider saying "goodnight" to it, along comes the minstral, and in a matter of minutes, the spark's back. You know its just another twist that goes nowhere...
Sure there have been the fleeting glimpses, the incredible lookalikes, when you give your stupid head a playful smack and remind yourself its meant for the silver screen alone. Hallucinations, dreams, a lot of banter over them but just wishful thinking, nonetheless. And in the second the minstral pops up, it no longer is. It is a vibrant soul that fuses into you for this is very very real.

Hell, it is a twist!!! Of the only fairytale of your life, and damn, it may be your very last opportunity. And every inch of your practical being screams that you are better off without it.
It isn't their fairytale however, its yours. Nay, its not the fairytale of your life; its your life itself. It is every inch of your being, every inch of your spirit, just you.

I want to turn the clock back.
Sure, so does everybody. Athletes with flagging energy levels, models with the hints of wrinkles appearing, politicians gambling on every card, they all want to.
Except that I dont know why I want to turn the clock back and they do. I dont know if I want to go back and just live in those years, or whether I want to grow up differently, whether I want to weave a new fairytale, or whether I want to vanquish them.

And there are the clouds. White, cottonlike, dreamy. Floating forever. Taking you on magic carpet rides. To fantasyland. Where dreams come true. Where it is all smiles, where there are uncertain, affectionate squeezes of the hand. Where it can never end, where this is forever. Where you whisper with ice-creams in hand, giggle over nothing, dream and promise, live and love.
And never think.

Chand sifarish karta humari, deta woh tumko bata,
.....
Humko aata nahi hai chhupana, hona hai tujh mein fanaa.

And then the darker ones move in. And fill up the horizon.
But, by then, you are already in dreamland.
Or not.

The story thus far...

Finland is not a communist satellite, it is a part of western Europe and shares its prosperity. The shops are jammed full of beefsteaks and LP records, frozen food and TV sets.
Helsinki is a well-ordered provincial town where it never ceases to be winter. It smells of wood-sap and oil-heating, like a village shop. Fancy restaurants put smoked reindeer tongue on the menu next to the tournedos rossini and pretend that they have come to terms with the endless lakes and forests that are buried silent and deep out there under the snow and ice. But Helsinki is just the appendix of Finland, an urban afterthought where half a million people try to forget that thousand upon thousand square miles of desolation and Arctic wasteland begin just a bus stop away.

*********

Or so says Len Deighton in "Billion-Dollar Brain".

It is actually one of those quiet cities, and if one of the professors at the lab is to be believed, Finland is the most law-abiding country in Europe, with the kind of atmosphere that readily lends itself to a very boring life.

Remarkably well-ordered though, the "well ordered provincial town" is. From people waiting at zebra crossings till the pedestrian light turns green to using their bus cards to pay for their ride, with little or no supervision. In my apartment in KannelMaki, you hardly get the feeling that you are in the capital city of the country that gave the sauna and Nokia to the world. Yet, it takes just a 10 minute train journey to the city centre in one of the trains from the station 30 metres away from my place to realize that the hub is elsewhere. This place is alive.

With Stockmann, purportedly one of the largest department stores in Europe, choc-a-bloc with people to Big Mac adorned by the PYT customers, to the Versace showrooms, it seems just the place to take a beautiful marathon runner for a date.

But we shall reserve that for another post.

ABout 10 kms away from KannelMaki is another area called Otaniemi, an outrageous € 3.10 by bus no 512A or a less outrageous free ride by bicycle, which houses the sprawling campus of the Helsinki University of technology or the TKK(TeKoKo, as it is called here). Picture perfect lawns with sunbathing students lead you onto the TML, the lab where I shall be spending the next two months. The first thing that greets you on entry is a very comfortable rise in temperature from the bone chilling winds that seem to blow ceaselessly.

The second thing that greets you is the aroma of coffee, one of my favourites, perhaps second only to a very strange brand of perfumes that every Finnish woman seems to use without fail, one that leaves the air redolent and wafts temptingly for some time. In through another door, a couple of feet to the left is the room I share with Anton Alstes and Bing Zhou, and for the majority of the time have to myself,
since the other two dont turn up all that often.

A Linux PC that performs quite well with the occasional temperamental tantrum that is unique to Linus Torvalds' creation, a coffee room for the lab alone and a set of very amiable professors and Masters and PhD students make the day quite peaceful.

Lunch with the continental food at the cafeteria is usually quite nice, with the salmon, seita ( a Finnish fish), chicken stew, et al having been quite delicious, with only the beef stroganoff being a little off-key for me. A well ordered salad adds the vitamin content, I presume, and there are plenty of varieties of bread to go with it. Finns, I think, have rice and boiled potatoes as omnipresent parts of their meal, and if I have any space left, they fill it.

**********

Back at the apartment, though, its the spanish armada that lights up the nightlife of a town where the sun sets around 11pm and rises by 3 am!!! With almost half the population of KannelMaki being from Spain, you can trust them to party every night, be it a birthday or a farewell. And while its a little difficult getting your message across, a couple of tries usually suffice.

Sangria, dont know if i spelt that right, is apparently, a typically spanish drink with wine, vodka, and fruits. QUite the best I have had so far. The French, it seems, dont like it too much, and they bring along their own wine, seasoned from the vineyards of Rennes. Hence, I am getting to be quite the connoisseur in these matters, and learning bits and pieces of the languages as well.

**********

Friday's lunch was a laboratory trip to an Indian Restaurant, where we all feasted on murgi and gosht. All very well, and it was the lunch where I managed to get hold of a digicam as well temporarily, for a couple of weeks till I can buy my own. Will upload photos tomorrow of the lunch. They be on the university's internal server.

Friday night was a farewell party for Onza, again spelling i know nothing about, guy from the Czech Republic. And was followed on Saturday by one for 3 spanish guys(2 guys and a gal, that is).

Photos coming up in a few days, soon as i get hold of a USB cord.

Finlandia...

.
Awrite folks, this place is GODLY!!!
Beautiful, and absolutely great...
And the technology here makes India(which is the only yardstick I have for comparison) look like a village in the 1920s.

Right, then, I came here, was picked up by Kristiina and Timo, who are from the TML lab, and went straight to my apartment, which i share with 2 others, 1 german guy called Thormon, and a spanish guy called Xavier(Javi/Xavi). Now, for all those who remember, I had written about the baby syndrome I face earlier. It seems set to continue. Both these chaps are a good 5 years older than me, and have (sadly), having found my name too hard to pronounce, settled on Toy(Thormon) and Rish(Xavier). As a result, :((

Anyways, so my room is, I think, more than twice that of my hostel, has a huge window that looks out onto the street, and is quite lovely!!! The apartment has a common dining space and kitchen with all the equipment that none of you are interested in hearing about.

However, my first day coincided with Thormon's farewell party, and the party saw beer flow by the six-pack. And when they finished the 8 six-packs, they took a couple of large whisky bottles and finished them off too. However, I discovered this only next morning, coz I went to sleep at 12 so that I could be up in time next morning for work. Thormon, Xavi and the rest still haven't figured out how I slept in that racket, but I guess Kgp prepares you for some things in life!!!

So yennyways, i learned the following things about them regarding booze:
1. Somewhere in Latvia, you can get vodka with 80% alcohol content!!! Yes, its true, Xavi has three of those bottles.

2. Germans can open beer bottles with absolutely anything, from plastic bottles to the table to newspapers(believe it!!!) and for all the studs who try opening with their teeth, you might be warned that it's not a good idea, or so say these people, and I would believe them if I were you; they be Le Masters.

3. Drunken Spaniards will climb onto roofs at 12 at night to celebrate Barca's win and to replace the English flag that some of the English chaps had put on earlier!!!

Now then, beyond that everything's peaceful. Am frying sausages or having sandwiches for dinner. Lunch is an exotic combination of salads, and bread, and salmon or chicken stew or some others depending on what day it is(Lunch, of course, is at the univ-I can't cook).

This post is already too long. So we'll continue about the univ some other time, which is ze coolest!!! So long, gotta go fix dinner, and then another of Thormon's farewell parties(this one's by his friends, he last one was by him :D); he leaves tomorrow... so long...

******
Oh, this one's on the door of one of the profs involved in the project:
" Never underestimate the power of a sick mind. "
******

Flying Finn

err not everybody will understand the next few lines but normal post content resumes right after.

for those who get it!!!
puglu's name can be modified again, what with all the poogloo and igloo jokes going around, and puglu being the lovable "shuor" that he is, we could do with pigloo!!! WHAT SAY???

************

Normal post resumes:

04.05.2006

Helsinki, Finland.
My office (yes, MY office) which is a cubicle shared with 3 others(guessing by the number of comps) who havent turned up today. More about being here since yesterday later. More about getting here now.

Left Calcutta on the morning of the 3rd at 8 55a.m. by Jet. Was a peaceful flight to Delhi, where I sat down to get bored till 1 55 at night, when my flight to Austria was scheduled. The waiting lounge at the international terminal was certainly better than the one in cal, but it was appalling to see flies around in it. And for anybody who thinks its just india where all this kinda thing happens, take another guess; encountered flies on the austrian airlines flight as well!!!

Anyways, more to the point. spent hours online from the cyber cafe at delhi airport, some terrible, and i should add "to the power infinity" to the terrible, vegetarian food at the snack bar-they didn't have non-veg, i wasn't experimenting, some sleep(quite a bit in fact) some reading(a research paper sent by the prof from helsinki), some watching(not much... everybody was taken :( ) and then it was around 11 pm.
Oh, something happened in the meantime that got me listening to:
"I feel it in my fingers,
I feel it in my toes,
Love is all around me,
And so the feeling grows."
And, in spite of the source being what it was, I listened to it some 100 times. And then felt compelled to reflect some on the first scene of "Love actually" which, I now feel, could not have been shot at a more appropriate place. It really was almost touching to see people take leave, and I watched quite a few in the twelve hours. Mothers and sons/daughters hugged tearfully, couples kissed and just held on to each other, little kids all cute and bustling ran from one end to the other in their excitement, honeymooners more than happy to get rid of their families and just sit gazing into each others' eyes, hands clasped together, and a few bored ones like me, yawning away to glory.

****sorry for the interruption*******
Something else also happened that reminded me of something S said earlier(btw, ppl who know me well enough don't try o guess who S is, coz u wont guess it!!), that I had turned almost into stony emotionlessness. I remember smiling then, and I think, as I did then, that he is very close to being right, even though I would rather be the reactive welter of emotions that I was a couple of years ago.
*****rukawat ke liye khed hai, post jari rahega**********

And then off on an eight and a half hour flight to Vienna, Austria. Some browsing through the duty free shops, setting my watch back by three-and-a-half hours to match local time, some lip-smacking at the chocolates, and no purchases later, I was off for the final flight to Helsinki.

Observations at the airports:

1. I wonder if its something to do with me. Steward on Jet Airways flight to Delhi treated me like a kid; worse still, made me feel like one.

2. The best looking air-hostesses are with Lufthansa.

3. Austrian Airlines air hostesses wear different uniforms, one with red coat, skirt and stockings, and the other with blue, except the stocking which are skin coloured. The second one's are better.

4. However, the sight of an air hostess in the first uniform running is second only to that of a running penguin- it is sooooooooooo cutely funny!!!

5. Of all things, a man at the airport came and tried to talk to me in Japanese. What gave him THAT impression?? Or chinese, it may have been.

6. Certain air hostesses(not all; its not a uniform) and cutting across all airlines, wear this wristgear, bangle like only a bit thicker and white and red colour. Very becoming.

7. I didnt see any of Austria because they wouldnt let me through into the city, but what I saw from the air made me feel that if I ever built a city using lego or something like that, it would be exactly like that.
Vast farmland, very green, blocks of inhabitation, and neighbourhoods separated by more farmland and long highways, and those conical sloped roofs, tapering into a point at the top, houses. Beautiful it was. And cloud cover over it was very litle, so I could see the land from a fair way up.

8. The approach to Helsinki was the godliest I ever saw. It was a sea of clouds till we came low enough, and then there was a sea of water right below. And small islands here and there, for quite a long time till the coastline hovered into view.

9. i never knew how pilots find the airport. Didnt think they could remember routes, so always thought they used sight, to locate where there were aeroplanes around and landed. So when this chap went low enough so I could see the telephone wires within touching distance outside he window, I looked all around and was terrified to find no planes and only tractors. And he continued to fly at that kind of altitude for another 20 minutes before his myopic vision finally located a plane.

10. It helps to be rich. You could have bought half those adorable things at the duty free shop if you were.

11. Adjusting to couples in love can be quite difficult. I tried to decide for a while whether it would be easier if you had a girlfriend and thought of her back at home, or whether it would be easier not having one, when you were alone and saw people very obviously in love. Not sure, but it didnt matter too much.

12. Not speaking english is a good way to get talking to women apparently asking for help. But then, they giggle too much and too irritatingly at your accent and t their own fumbling efforts to make you comprehend.

But I had a great time, and Kristina and Timo were there at the airport to take me to my apartment, so it was no problem. Just that there seems to be no funda here on how to make international calls, and no places from where you can make them. "Use your mobile" is the most received answer when you ask "how do you make international calls?" Also reminded me of the time I call the States using my mobile from kharagpur.

All right now, lets work some, and get back to blog later.

Post script: I dont know how i forgot this before, but tall!!! and seriously tall, everyone of them... and i am talking only about the women here coz i havent been looking at the men too much, but the passing glances tell me they average pretty high as well. But the women, omg, hardly seem to be the heights i am used to!!!

Dilli... yet again :D

I just can't stop laughing. At myself, at the moment. Almost delirious. It is an insanely funny situation of my own doing that I find myself in. And unable to do anything about. As I was telling a friend yesterday, I do not have the guts or the necessary luck to do anything about it.

As a result, I am sitting at this cyber cafe in Delhi airport doing what I least want to be doing. Or at present anyway. Flight to Delhi was pretty ok. Except that I didnt feel like asking for a second helping, as I had done on the same flight in my first year. Growing old, I think, and more conscious ;)

Or maybe, I didnt because conditions today are the exact opposite of what they were then :D Midnight flights should be banned. Actually weighing my options sitting all this while considering whether to read a paper(research paper, that is) or to watch the stupid star news channel or to use this bl**** expensive cyber cafe.

Managed to spend just one day at home before leaving; what with exams, and then an express BTP report submission, and sleeping early mornings everyday, I think the most peaceful time of the year for me is when exams are on. Think I am quite tired of academia...

"Ek chhota sa lamha hai, jo khatm nahi hota,
Main lakh jalata hoon, woh bhasm nahi hota..."

Had a discussion with a friend who has been travelling through slightly roughish relationship waters. Reminded of all those times I had been through, and all those that I didn't get through, after all. Friends are useless, I think. They make you think of the wrong things at the wrong time :D

I am getting a sort of realization as to why my posting frequency's gone down these days. It seems its only in a certain mood that I resort to blogger.com.

***************

Sequence of farewells over.

And le treats with them. My tribute to many brilliant individuals I have had the good fortune of working with in soc-n-cult events and in sports. Will remember all the sessions, the strategies hammered back and forth, the tempo, and the events themselves forever. One particular match will have pride of place for the sheer level of the hooting!!! My most tangible and bestest memory from the year, I think.

Right then, ladies and gentlemen, so much in today's bulletin. Have a good day!!! See you in Finland.