Sem 5 consigned to the history books

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Its all over. Finally. After 4 long months of trying to flog the life out of a dead horse. 4 intense months. That played havoc with my schedules, sleep and eating habits. Perhaps every peak was not scaled, but every nadir was probably touched. 4 months of frustration. Of anticipation, at times. Of mirth, laughter, anxiety, worry. Of birthdays and deadlines and back-up plans. Of GPLs and treats. Uproarious laughter, and a few unshed tears. Of hopes, and then hopes dashed. Highs and lows. Unexpected successes, and more unexpected failures. Wonder if I will look back after 4 years, or further down the line, and feel that these four months defined me, or at least, my stay here. And just when I thought that "the ship had weather'd every rack" came the cruellest blow of them all. Kathleen had nothing in stock last night :(( Me a little in shock right now.

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Its so horrible to have others finish their exams one day before yours. Coz they just generally go crazy, and freak out. You should have heard the screams from the floor below on thursday when the much-awaited bottles with the emancipating fluids arrived. There couldn't have been more excitement at the Gold Rush. Unfortunately, we couldn't have one yesterday. Everyone just couldn't match times. So finally, around 1 at night 5 of an old group congregated in my room for a bhaat session. Sadly, my proposal of bridge was unanimously vetoed.

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Still got a lab assignment to submit. Damn it, why can't my department just get normal... will have to stay back till monday at least, it seems.

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And then the winters. My favourite time of the year. Except, like I said, in posts some time back, things are slightly different from what they were last year. Will certainly make this winter weird. Developments made me realize that I have an Achilles' there, and in that matter, I am not nearly as strong as I like to think I am in other matters. Dont know if I want to go face it. Alternatives?? A winter in Kgp- uh-oh, I don't think so.

Perhaps the only worthwhile thing in the last few days. Being involved with the inception of CSRG-CET Student Research Group. It is an exciting prospect if we manage to get things done. Let's see.

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A treat couple of weeks back. Venugopal's birthday. Venu on the extreme right. Me to his left and behind.



Food at the LS bar was good. A snapshot.



Well, the best I have had in sometime anyways. And then I had to go and see the pics here. :D

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Expecting a close friend from school to be back from the US this winter. Just not been in touch over the last couple of months. Hope he does come.

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A long, cold winter awaits.

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Been listening to the lyrics of this song through the exams.. Seemed apt ;D

"I guess there is no one to blame.... we're leaving ground...
Will things ever be the same again?? It's the final countdown......"

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FFwd into tomorrow-Part-II

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A note at the beginning for all those unaware of what Illumination is. Its this amazing thing where you create images on huge chatais with thousands of lighted diyas, a spectacle to take your breath away.

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To continue from where I left off in my last post.

Illu morning:
9 00 am: All preparations done. A few flutters with getting the small things right.

10 00: A change of clothes on a suggestion from a friend, and I am all set.

10 30: Bugging to find no trains.

11 30: Finally a train.

1 00 pm: She calls to find out when I will be getting there. Making allowances for traffic etc, I set it for 4 30 at CCD.

2 25: Train into Howrah

3 30: Buses surprisingly sprightly. I am already there. An exchange of sms-es helps me bring it fwd to 4 00.

4 05: Got onto the CCD guy's nerves by not ordering nething saying I was waiting for a friend. Then she got there. WOW.

5 30: Late decision to catch a movie, scramble into a taxi en route to Priya.

8 45: Me frust with the movie. Not that bad but both of us sort-of distracted, so we decided to leave 20 minutes from the end!!!

9 00: More talk. Less sense. Confused. Both of us. Uncertain. Want to. Dont want to.

10 00: ATM at Beckbagan. Wrong question at wrong time generates humour. Not much use.

10 30: Time to go. Decide to meet tomorrow. Knew we wouldn't.

Tomorrow: Didn't.

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Back to the future:

Illu night:
Preparations almost done. All set. The dhop teams wait outside for the judges. We go over the lines one last nervous time.

10 30: Judges leaving Azad.

10 40: We usher the rangoli judges in. Unknown to the judges, my dialogue with Sam changes further from the script with every sentence, as we go on.

10 55: Presentation over.

11 00: Take the rangoli judges to the Illu ground. We realize a something's gone wrong. Darned wind.

12 30: Results out. Amidst uncertainty, a joint 3rd in Rangoli, we think. Disappointed.

In between what happened around 11 30 brought back some nightmares. Not again. Not on the same day as well. This can't be happening, was my first reaction. No way.

Strange but the feeling of deja vu hasn't quite gone. Compounded by something a guy on the dumbc team said. And amidst the "fun"fare of the season, the treats, the laughter, jokes and cheering India on, something feels a little strange. A bit of uncertainty.

Riverdance to the rescue (:-)

Fast-Forward into tomorrow!!!

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"....Jab leher leher se takraye,
Dariya mein jo toofan aaye,
Tala tum woh kehlaye..."

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Time flies. Seems like yesterday that I was at the same point in time and it was in my second year. The unceasing running from one end of the football ground to the other end of the hall, legs feeling that they would never be able to stand again, rubbing my eyes as though I hadn't slept in a hundred years, and then feel all the tiredness just drain out of myself, as I stood on the catwalk watching thousands of diyas crackle into life-the moment into which had gone weeks of night-outs for so many people. Like all Diyas, these burnt out too. It was good while it lasted, and left an indelible impression.

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Its Illu-eve again.

Been much the same this year, more running around- inter-hall followed by inter-hall followed by dhop gathering sessions followed by some day-dreaming interspersed with some playful banter. Except that there were no wet tests this time-none of the thousands of diyas burning bright in their final dress rehearsal before the big day.

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There are Illu-eves and there are Illu-eves.

Like the one described below.

1.50 am: This is night, mind you, and it just became Illu eve at midnight-an hour and a half back. End of a hard day's work. Was passing my room with acroyali on our way to his room. Stopped short at the sound of the cell ringing with the special tone. Went in. Cell had 16 missed calls and a message waiting. Got a jhaar from her. Sweetest I ever had. Had my best sleep that night. All ready to meet up the day after. What I would have to miss for it didn't seem to be much in comparison. Still doesn't.

4.40 pm: Reach the hall after classes all geared for the last day of back-breaking work. Somehow it doesn't hurt anymore. Everybody's ready to handle all you can give them.

6.00 pm: The first signs of the sloth creeping in. People starting to gather in groups for bhaat sessions.

7.00 pm:The dinner gong

7.30pm: Back to the ground. Called by a senior. The final form of the dhops have to be drafted now.

9.30 pm: Dhop drafting over. Amazed as usual at the tempo this guy retains in his final year. Did most of the stuff himself. happily. I let him do it. happily!!!

10.00 pm: Final preparations for the last dress rehearsal. Some more banter with a couple of super-final year students. Adam-teasing, in my opinion, is what they did to me.

11 pm: A sight to behold. Every chatai, every diya alive, every shape etched vividly. Like they had finally found the moment for which they had been conceived. For a few minutes, everyone just stood and gaped, entranced.

11.05 pm: The reverie broken. An enthralled buzz, which slowly diffuses into the ever-rising din.

11.10 pm: Hits me for the first time that I would miss the grand finale. A pang of regret. Not strong enough to compare with my anticipation though.

11.30 pm: She called. All seems right with the world.

12 midnight: Hugs all round for an illu job well done. Everybody's doubly pumped for D-day now. A sight.

For just a few minutes, every ordeal in kgp seems worth it.

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"...Is tala tum mein hum,
Dil ki kashti sanam,
aa chuka lenge...."