For want of a nail
I never knew what titles to use for posts, and probably never will. I haven't put down any rants in a long time. Not when there was nothing to rant about. Not when there was a lot to rant about. (What now seems like) many years ago, during the rains, there would be these worms that curled up when you touched them. I don't see them anymore, but I feel often like I am curling up. And growing a good, hard shell besides.
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Strange how much comfort there is to be had in old, pleasant memories. Strange how they mean so much, when really, they should mean nothing at all. CCD, sometime in October, 2003; CCD again, sometime in August, 2004- the moments that still to me represent everything I know of happiness, the best moments- and its funny how every person important to me is somehow intertwined in that moment, in the days, hours and minutes leading up to that moment. Enough to make you curl up with or without a blanket in an apartment insufficiently heated, and smile.
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I started this blog sometime in the summer of 2005, I think. That's about 3 years. It's survived long spells of desolation, furiously thrashed out posts, taken the brunt of my emotions softened by the blows that the keys took. Over the years, I realize why it was I started off by blogging anonymously- so that I could be myself, not judged by the smile or the tear; not by the action nor the reaction. Somewhere, the "man is not an island" symptom overpowered the need for anonymity. And, hence, the need to present the emotions and the issues with some degree of care meant that not even the blog knew me as well as I would have hoped.
When I think about it now, it seems the number of people I could hope would react the way I wish people would would be easily counted on a hand with a non-zero number of amputated fingers. And the rest are slowly drifting away. What would I change if I had my way? Nothing. Everything.
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It's alright, it's alright, alright
She moves in mysterious ways
It's alright, it's alright, alright
She moves in mysterious ways
Ah...ah...ah...
Johnny take a dive with your sister in the rain
Let her talk about the things you can't explain
To touch is to heal
To hurt is to steal
If you wanna kiss the sky
Better learn how to kneel
On your knees boy!
:-)
Sanam, teri kasam!
;-)
*********************************************************
Strange how much comfort there is to be had in old, pleasant memories. Strange how they mean so much, when really, they should mean nothing at all. CCD, sometime in October, 2003; CCD again, sometime in August, 2004- the moments that still to me represent everything I know of happiness, the best moments- and its funny how every person important to me is somehow intertwined in that moment, in the days, hours and minutes leading up to that moment. Enough to make you curl up with or without a blanket in an apartment insufficiently heated, and smile.
**********************************************************
I started this blog sometime in the summer of 2005, I think. That's about 3 years. It's survived long spells of desolation, furiously thrashed out posts, taken the brunt of my emotions softened by the blows that the keys took. Over the years, I realize why it was I started off by blogging anonymously- so that I could be myself, not judged by the smile or the tear; not by the action nor the reaction. Somewhere, the "man is not an island" symptom overpowered the need for anonymity. And, hence, the need to present the emotions and the issues with some degree of care meant that not even the blog knew me as well as I would have hoped.
When I think about it now, it seems the number of people I could hope would react the way I wish people would would be easily counted on a hand with a non-zero number of amputated fingers. And the rest are slowly drifting away. What would I change if I had my way? Nothing. Everything.
**********************************************************
It's alright, it's alright, alright
She moves in mysterious ways
It's alright, it's alright, alright
She moves in mysterious ways
Ah...ah...ah...
Johnny take a dive with your sister in the rain
Let her talk about the things you can't explain
To touch is to heal
To hurt is to steal
If you wanna kiss the sky
Better learn how to kneel
On your knees boy!
:-)
Sanam, teri kasam!
;-)
posted by Lancelot @ 3:22 AM
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